Paulie's Robot

As another NFL season goes into the books, any avid Football fan should sit back and reflect on what a glorious season its been. Much like a great book, which can take days or even years to comprehend, this football season's on-field and off the field highlights are almost too much to comprehend. Let's look at some things we've learned. James Harrison doesn't care about your rules..... or apparently money. A big part of this year's NFL season has been spent discussing a serious issue: head injuries. During the season, the NFL changed its rules pertaining to hitting a 'defenseless player.' Harrison has been the player fined the most under the new rule (around $100,000) and has consistently lamented he will not change how he plays. Mike Tomlin (former MN defensive coordinator) famously complained, "I don’t care how much money you make. I take offense at times just in general how all of us talk about the money...." “He’s got two kids. That’...

Watching the US Open and all of the coverage this year has simply confirmed what we already knew: the media (particularly) the sports media is awful. First, all we hear about is that Nadal and Federer were on a collision course for history... ignoring every other competitor in the field. This of course, was in spite of the fact that, Nadal had never made the finals here. Fed is an entirely other story. For four years, I've been hearing that his reign is over. That, because he isn't winning EVERYTHING, he's washed up. Forget about his amazing run of Semi-Finals and Finals appearances. Forget that he's in incredible shape at 29. Forget he's arguably (already) the greatest tennis player ever. Oddly (it's odd because everyone says Fed is washed up) they pushed and pushed for a Fed v. Nadal final. Let me tell you, it would have been glorious. The greatest tennis player of all time against the guy who is (literally) nipping at his and the heels of greatness....

10. Office Jobs are Full of Ugly People Unless you work in an office that is featured on Playboy tv or Skinemax, chances are, the majority of the people you work with are ugly. Drew Carrey pretty much nailed it, office jobs are full of ugly, miserable people, who enjoy spreading their misery. My job would be at least 85% better if I had some f*cking eye candy to let me forget I work for a bunch of lazy thankless bastards. 9. Management = Morons If you work (or have worked) in an office, you've probably come to the conclusion; There is no God. If there were, sh*t like this just wouldn't be allowed to exist. Most of the reason these jobs suck, is because of the people. Yes, your incompetent management and the rancid sacks of sh*t that you work with, otherwise known as co-workers. Sure, everyone has had that ONE great manager in an office job, that you keep talking about years after you've left that job. But, in reality, most people's direct supervisors are f*cking to...

In the past year, we've seen two of the world's most iconic athletes with pristine public personas fall hard from grace. I of course am speaking about Tiger and LeBron. In my estimation, Tiger's only fault was that he got married. If he wasn't a married man, carrying on this secret lifestyle probably would have eventually boosted his street cred. As for LeBron, I always wondered how a kid who has been treated like Prince Akeem since he turned 12 could be such an all-around-great-kid (every sportswriter in America's words, not mine). They all swooned, he's got Magic's smile, Jordan's athleticism and Larry's heart..... What they didn't mention, was that he had all of their egos (combined) before ever winning anything at the pro level. The issue I take, is that, sure, these guys were pretty underhanded, and at all cost, spent a lot of time and effort on molding their images. But, c'mon, don't tell me Accenture didn't really know...