The Motherland: South Korea 2012

I've always said if you were raised by wolves, you would grow up believing you are a wolf. I happened to be raised by lower-middle-class white people... Therefore, I am... My parents told me I was, Korean, but what that actually meant, was definitely lost on me...

Thirty six years later, I found myself boarding a plane to Seoul with my girlfriend, a "REAL" Korean to embark on what I now realize was the most significant trip of my life...

I've always enjoyed traveling, seeing, experiencing, living... It's the task of getting there that's always bothered me. I do not enjoy the experience of flying. I fly because, driving takes too long... Up to this point in my life, my only long-distance traveling has been across the Atlantic to Europe. I think 8 hours is the longest I've spent sitting on a plane, and that was unpleasant enough. Our schedule flight from Chicago to Seoul was schedule flight time of 14 hours.

Traveling with someone else, particularly your loving girlfriend is the way to go. Mijin has always had a calming effect on me and this flight was no different. We were definitely in this together and that made the whole thing far more palatable.

We flew Korean airlines. It was a great choice. The staff were unbelievably friendly, accommodating and pleasant.

Their uniforms were something out of the movie Gattaca, a classic, yet modern take on what a flight attendant should wear. I enjoyed the cheap slippers provided, removing my shoes helped quite a bit on the comfort scale.

Fourteen hours later, we landed in Seoul. Korea is 15 hours ahead of Chicago (central time), so we arrived at around 4:45pm the next day. I didn't sleep a wink. My body was thinking it was around midnight, today was going to be a long one...

As we walked through Incheon International airport, I was surprised and awed at the cleanliness and beauty of it. O'Hare is a cesspool of filth layered on filth, Incheon is something entirely different. I was preparing myself for the never-ending line at customs I assumed that would be awaiting me. When you fly into the 3rd largest city in the world, expect the worst, right?

I got to customs and there was literally NO line... I walked up, scanned my fingerprints and walked through. Much to Mijin's chagrin, I had beaten her through and was awaiting her when she got to the other side of the customs.

On our way to the train, I noticed beautiful orchestra music. It was pleasant and calming. It seemed to be getting louder. It was, because there was a concert at the airport. Of all the things I never imagined seeing, it was an orchestra concert in an airport, touche' Incheon airport...

We finally made it to the train, and boarded, it would be around another hour until we got to the stop near Mijin's parent's house.

Like most other major cities public transport systems, their train system is FAR superior to the CTA. The trains are wider, cleaner, quieter, faster and have multiple connection points for other lines.

After an hour we arrived at the train station in the Dangsan district of Seoul. Her father was waiting and after a quick greeting we were off to their apartment. Walking out of the subway and into the street, I started taking it all in. Tall apartment buildings, people everywhere and scooters. I repeat, scooters, buzzing around like drunken gnats. We got to their apartment, went upstairs and had dinner with her parents. Nervous and exhausted, I ate dinner and tried not to screw up. Which I did twice. Once, when I grabbed food before her father and second when I crossed my legs sitting on their couch after dinner. Oops. Her father, very graciously told me to not worry, they knew I was American and that I would learn over time. I appreciated that. A few hours later and her sister Yoojin came home. I would be staying at her apartment. Yoojin, her husband and her 2 daughters (SeoYoung & SeoYoon) live with Mijin's parents. While Yoojin and her husband (Kwang Hui) work all day and all night, her parents take care of their kids. So, we headed off to the Sindorim district of Seoul about a 12-15 minute bus ride from Dangsan. I walked in and got settled and crashed... Four short hours later I was wide awake it was 2:30am Seoul time... This would be a fairly common occurrence for me during the trip... Biorhythms anyone?

Day 1

Mijin had an appointment at the US Embassy to renew her Visa for re-entry into the United States. She picked me up at her sister's apartment and we hopped the train. I mentally prepared myself for the chaos of rush hour. It wasn't that bad. Yes, there were a lot of people, yes there were crowded trains, but no worse than New York in the morning.

After a short ride, we walked upstairs into downtown Seoul. If you've traveled, particularly to foreign countries, you're probably aware each city has it's own personality or energy. Seoul is no different. It's busy and frenetic at times, but with a bit more sophisticated controlled chaos feel. We got to the embassy and I was told I could not enter as I did not make an appointment. Mijin looked worried, but I have been here before, first time in a foreign place with time to kill. I decided to take a walk.

I walked around downtown, checking out sites, trying not getting killed by the endless buzzing of scooters.

They run redlights, they drive on sidewalks and they are EVERYWHERE. They are also used to transport goods/products you'd think wouldn't fit in a cargo van. Coming from the States, its almost surreal. I was starting to understand why Mijin had such a negative opinion on 2-wheeled vehicles, they are a menace, at the least a necessary menace for delivery and transport as gas is around $7.00/Gallon.

After a few hours, Mijin finished at the embassy and we went to meet her sister for lunch. Yoojin works a short distance away in downtown at a bank.

After meeting up with Yoojin on our way to the restaurant, we got to see a ceremony for changing of the guards at what was once the front gate of the city. Korea is a country that is a fascinating mix of traditional culture and modern times. It was a cool experience to see it on the way to lunch.

From there we headed out to lunch. We ate at Hwang So Go Jip, a small, simple place. We ate marinated pork with several banchan (side dishes) and white rice with tea. Total cost of lunch for 3 was 19,000 Won (1,000 Won is about $1.00). No tipping necessary. To give some perspective a similar meal in the States at a Korean restaurant for just Mijin and I would ring in around $45.00, which we always consider a good deal...

From there, we hopped on a train and went to visit the offices of the Holte Adoption agency that arranged my adoption to the States. The woman there, was extremely kind and very happy Mijin was with to translate. I was surprised and amazed they still had the original file. We looked through the documents and discovered there were documents which were never translated and therefore never sent to my parents. We got photocopies which was pretty cool. The agent then gave us contact information for Sister Theresa who works at White Lilly in Daegu. White Lilly was an orphanage from 1915 until 1994, but is now one of the most critically acclaimed daycares in Korea.

From there, we got on a train, and then caught a bus up to Seoul Tower. Seoul Tower is located up on a hill in the middle of Seoul. It has an observatory and some amazing 360 views of the city. It also has a fence known as the "Locks of Love." This is where couples lock padlocks to a fence for good luck in their relationships. We rode the elevator to the top of the tower and got to see some very cool views. Including the view from the men's bathroom. From there, we headed back to Sindorim, ate dinner and Mijin went back to her parent's house.

Day 2

I slept about 5 hours, woke up at 4:00AM and couldn't fall asleep. Mijin called me at 7:45 to tell me she was on her way. We went and grabbed some breakfast at Dunkin Donuts. You know, a traditional Korean breakfast (I kidd). After ordering I waited for our coffee, which was still brewing. The DD employee started talking to me and I had to summon Mijin over to help out. She wanted to let me know if I needed more cream or sugar to just ask. This was the first of many encounters where a local confused me for being local. After years of growing up in Minnesota, with constant reminders that people knew I was different, this was a great feeling. Sure, upon further examination, I am clearly not a Korean citizen, but to blend into a crowd effortlessly felt great.

After breakfast we hopped on the train (at rush hour again) and headed off to downtown Seoul. Our first stop was a statue of King Sejong. He is the king who decided to create the Korean alphabet. Before that, Koreans used the Chinese alphabet. In the photo I'm holding up the 10,000 Won note, which has an image of King Sejong on it. Underground, near the statue, there is a museum dedicated to the King. We got to write our names in the traditional style, which was fun. The image below, shows me poorly writing "Cory Wouters, United States.

From there we visited Gyeongbok Palace. Gyeongbok Palace, means "Palace, blessed by Heaven." It was built in 1395 and rebuilt again later due to Japanese invasion. I was so amazed at it's scale, beauty and precision. It was also very cool to be standing in something so old, but if you look around, you're surrounded by modern Seoul (skyscrapers etc.).

We spent a few hours there and then walked north to Bukchon Hanok Village. Hanok is the traditional style Korean house and Bukchon means north. It's very near Gyeongbok Palace and it was originally home to rich families and government officials. It was so peaceful and great to walk around. It was also surreal to see this old style houses with ADT Security stickers and cars parked in front of them. It is a special place. Along with being my first visit there, it was also Mijin's, so we had a great time exploring something new together.

From there, we hopped on the train and went to Namdaemun market. This is one of those 'Must-See' places if you visit Seoul. Commerce at it's finest, or worst, depending on your view of capitalism. Want to buy socks, fruit and raw chickens in the same place? Well, then Namdaemun is your place! This place was crowded and to make matters worse, there were constant buzzes of scooters and motorcycles wading through the hoardes.

Day 3

Mijin came to pick me up and we had another traditional Korean breakfast, McDonalds. Now, normally, when traveling, I try to eat locally as much as possible, but for breakfast, I made an exception. One interesting note, McDonalds in Korea is the anti-McDonalds in America. People in Korea like McDonalds because it's renown for being clean and having free Wi-Fi... I think the last time I was in a McDonalds in Chicago, I got Hep C.

At any rate, we were off to the DMZ to tour a tunnel dug by N. Korea with the intention of invading S. Korea. To this date, the South has discovered 4 such tunnels. On the way, you make a few stops, one is in Dorasan, where from telescopes, you can see 'Propaganda Village,' a village of fake houses to show S. Korea just how prosperous N. Korea is. I stuck my iPhone up to the telescope and snapped away, I can't believe it actually worked, but it did. After feeling extremely pleased with myself, I realized that I was standing about 20 feet in front of a line that said, all photos must be taken behind this point. Oops. I wonder if a N. Korean sniper had his sights trained on me... There are no photos of the tunnel as they were restricted as well. At the end of the day, there was nothing particularly special about the tunnel, other than the fact that it exists and it could house up to 30,000 N. Korean troops. The tunnel was very short and I had to bend over most of the way through it. N. Koreans must be short...

We got home and her mother told us we'd be eating dinner at her aunt's apartment a few blocks from where her parent's apartment is. We walked over and had dinner. After hearing that I was staying so far away, her aunt generously offered for me to stay in her apartment, much closer to Mijin and her family. Her husband has been in China for a year on business and her daughter was recently married. I obliged, knowing that she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Korean. We communicated through hand gestures and a bit of KorEnglish... My Splanglish is much better... But, it was much closer and she made me breakfast every morning, which was so sweet of her.

Day 4

I woke up early and met Mijin and her parents. They would be driving us on a 3 day road trip around Korea. First stop, my birthplace, Daegu. Up until a few months prior, I had always thought I was born in Seoul, but, Mijin, uncovered some documents my parents had and discovered that I had stayed in an orphanage for 6 months in Daegu. Daegu is about 200 miles southeast of Seoul.

We arrived in Daegu around noon and drove around a little while to discover the Orphanage, it was not easy to find. But, sooner than later, we were driving through the front gates and parking inside the facilities. Immediately, and admittedly, I was fighting emotions tucked far away inside me. We met with Sister Theresa who showed us around. It was really cool to finally see and understand where I had come from. It was 36 years in the making. She then told us that she had a note from my

birth mother and an address of where I was found. Both shocking revelations. I was always told that my birthdate was estimated and that I was left at a police station. In fact, when we visited the adoption agency, the agent confirmed my birthdate was estimated. Not so, the Sister had made a photo-copy of the note. I was floored. We went to the Sister's office and she let me see and touch it. The second I saw it, the water-works turned on and I crumbled into a complete mess. I've never had the longing some adoptees have to meet my birth parents, I love my parents and have never had that need or want. But, to be able to touch the only connection I have with the person that gave me life was special and overwhelming to me. It was such a watershed moment in my life and I'm so thankful Mijin was there to get me through it. It was a great, but draining moment.

At this point, Sister Theresa, who had already spent several hours with us, told us I could meet a blind woman who used to work in the orphanage. She had definitely cared for me at one point as she was assigned to work in the room I was staying in. The sister told us a great story of how, after feedings or bath time, some of the other workers would misplace babies in their beds. But, this woman, knew each child by the shape of their head and would patiently, put them back in their place. Amazing. I met her and she seemed so pleased that I had returned and visited her. She and Sister Theresa said they always wondered/worried if the kids being placed for adoption were happy. I assured them I was and they both felt grateful. Another special moment for me on a special journey.

From there, Sister Theresa took us to the spot where I was found. I was always told I was left at a Police Station with a special baby drop-box. This was partially

true, I was left a few blocks away from the Police Station with my note. I was found by a police officer. If you look at the photo on the very top of the posting, you'll notice my baby picture with my Korean name and a serial number. Kim Hong Kyu (last name first in Asia). The woman who named me named me after the police officer who found me. As we walked to the spot, people in businesses came out to see what we were doing. The Sister explained and I was taken aback at how kind and interested strangers were. They were on their phones, asking anyone who worked nearby if anyone had been there since 1976, one older woman came up and just gave me a huge hug. It was very cool. To stand in the spot where my amazing life journey started was beyond special. It was dare I sound cheesy, magical. We then walked a few blocks to where the Police Station used to be and an old man pointed out where the baby drop-box at the station was. We took Sister Theresa out for lunch and then got back on the road, heading for Gyeongju. After a short while, we arrived and checked into our hotel. We sat and talked with Mijin's parents for a while.

Prior to the trip, Mijin and I spoke about how the proposal process works in Korea. Instead of the man proposing to the woman and then telling the family, the man asks for the parents permission first. She told me the basic questions her mother would ask, and I had some concept of what would happen. So, here we all sat, after an extremely emotional day and her mother started to ask me my intentions. Not in a bad way, but more of a, I love my daughter, what are your intentions, kind of way. I had always planned on trying to prepare something in Korean, but, after that day, and feeling how Mijin supported and cried with me. Knowing I'd never be in Daegu without her, I threw caution to the wind, dropped to my knees and asked for her parent's permission. After several rambling sweaty minutes, her father told me it was enough and told me to stand-up. They approved. Later when Mijin and I were talking about what just happened, she told me she was surprised they said yes so soon, considering they barely knew me. Well geez...

Day 5

Gyeongju is one of the oldest cities in Korea. It's also one of the few cities that has never been invaded by a foreign army. It's history and cultural significance cannot be understated. It was home to the Silla Dynasty which ruled from 57 BC to about 935 AD. I joked that everywhere we stepped, something historically significant happened, I don't think I was too far off. Our first stop of the day was to visit a few Tombs of Kings. Very interesting to see the artifacts that were discovered. Not too many photo opportunities.

Next, we went to an old Buddhist Temple which was built in 528 AD. Built upon a hill with massive scale and precision. It is quite the sight to see. Here you can see a statue of Buddha which I was NOT supposed to take a picture of, but did. Hooray!

From there we visited the National Museum. Pretty much more of the same, lots of artifacts and plenty of Buddha. Interesting, but I was glad it was free...

Day 6

We left Gyeongju and started heading up the Eastern Coast of Korea. The views and geography were breath-taking. Something that really surprised me is how mountainous Korea is. So, imagine looking out at all these beautiful Palaces, Temples and other sites, with an amazing backdrop of mountains painted into the horizon. We drove up highway 35 right along the coast and well, it seemed like the BlueRidge Parkway meets Highway 1 in California. Simply amazing. All I could think about was riding my motorcycle on this road. Ocean on one side, mountains, hills, curves and a lot of stops to eat fresh seafood, particularly crab. Amazing.

A short while later we got to Uljin. Uljin is a place where Mijin's family spent 4 years in her childhood. Her father worked at one of the first power plants in Korea there. It's right on the beach and is one of the most peaceful beautiful places I've had the opportunity to visit. Awesome. It was really special watching Mijin and her family get a little 'homecoming' and recall the memories they made there. We walked down to the beach and enjoyed the sea air and blue skies. It was like a painting come to life.

After spending some time on the beach, it was time for lunch. We drove into town and walked through a fish market. Mijin's mother picked out flat fish and yellow tail, had the woman clean and cut it up. Then we walked across the street with our

plate of FRESH sashimi to eat. We got rice and a few other side dishes and the restaurant took the rest of the fish and made a fish stew. I now understand why Mijin has such high standards for sashimi. It doesn't get any fresher than that, caught that morning, cleaned in front of us and put on a plate for consumption. I consider myself spoiled now...

From there we hit-up smaller roads and winded through mountains and valleys back to Seoul. Again, I dreamed of carving up those curves on my motorbike. It didn't help that I saw two BMW GS series bikes zoom past us going the opposite direction. I'm sure my envy was palpable. Several hours later, we were stuck in traffic on the outskirts of Seoul. I have to say, the fact that Korea is so small (smaller than the state of Iowa), yet so diverse (modern cities, ancient structures, mountains, coastline) makes it extremely special.

Day 7

A pretty chill day. We went to the mall with Mijin's mother and went to the grocery store. Picked up some groceries to cook spaghetti for her family and then went back to her parent's apartment to relax. Mid-afternoon we had an appointment with a Catholic priest. After our meeting with Sister Theresa at White Lilly in Daegu, she suggested that I see this Catholic priest that so many people had met and had great experiences. I was raised Catholic, but am by no means a practicing Catholic at this point in my life. I accepted the suggestion out of mere thanks to Theresa, as she had done so much for me. As the time approached, I felt it unnecessary and did not want to go. But, we drug our tired bodies out of the apartment and down to where he lives.

We got there a few minutes late and soon were joined by the Father in a small room. He's Indian, but has lived in Korea for 27 years. He speaks fluent Korean and English and had an amazing understanding of both cultures. We talked and sooner than later, the conversation took a turn to Mijin's and my relationship. He gave us several pieces of great advice that I know will help us for years to come. Probably the most surprising he gave us was this (I'm paraphrasing here). "You can be spiritual without going to Church every Sunday. Going to Church is low-level, being a good person, helping others and loving each other can be Godlike. Don't worry what others would like you to do, do what you need to do for yourselves and each other... I'm giving you this advice and I'm a Catholic priest...." I can't express how happy I am we went to see the Father...

Later in the evening, we went to her aunt's house and had a belated birthday celebration for Mijin. Her birthday was on Friday when we were in Daegu and we really didn't celebrate. So, we got a cake and had a little celebration. I cooked her family Spaghetti (American style!). I was excited that she could celebrate her birthday in Korea with her family for the first time in 6 years!

Day 8

Mijin and her parents went to go and visit her paternal grandmother. So, I went with Yoojin to a Korean Folk Village. Whereas I'd been in palaces for Kings and the rich, this was a chance to see how common people lived. It was such a

peaceful pleasant experience. I also got my first celebrity encounter in Korea. We were walking along and I noticed several security personnel with ear pieces. We got closer and we saw tv cameras and production assistants everywhere. Turns out, the mother of a famous comedian (his name is Ha Ha), was there and they were shooting a tv spot or commercial. Having no idea who she was, but seeing she was someone of significance, I snapped away like a 15 year old girl at a Twilight premiere. We finished up by watching a few performances and went back to meet Mijin in the Gangnam district.

Yes, it was Gangnam style... Had to...

Once we met back up with Mijin, Yoojin went home and Mijin and I headed off to Lotte World, an amusement park with both an indoor and outdoor section. We rode a few rides, got cold, tired and went home.





Day 9

Mijin went to get her haircut and we walked around Namdaemun Market again. I bought some souvenirs for my family and we headed home to make some cookies with Mijin's niece SeoYoung. Family is important to both of us, and I know spending time with her nieces was important for Mijin. So, it was a lot of fun to watch them making cookies and it was cool to see how proud SeoYoung was after they were finished.

Day 10

The last day, we decided to relax and hang-out with her family. Her parents live near the Han River and we walked down the side over a bridge and onto a small island and got some coffee. It was a great relaxing way to spend the last day.

I can't stress how nice the people were to me. Everyone (strangers included) were so excited and happy that I came back to visit and showed me so much love and respect.

Korea is old mixed with new, surrounded by natural beauty. Delicious food and wonderfully kind people. In the States, we only really learn about Japan and China, but I'd say, Korea is the best kept secret in Asia.